Tuesday, September 25, 2012
In preparation, I spent nearly an hour purchasing two photo 'packages' online and printing off the receipts (write a check...that's so 2009). Why does the 'easy' way take so long? Well, let me share that with you.
Step One, select your package from the list of 18 options. Eighteen...really? Step Two, select from 12 different background "Looks" for each individual photo. For example, you might want the whispy cloud background for your 8'x10', the shooting stars for your wallets, the bronze stardust background with full body shot for the 5'x7's that go to Grandma and Grandpa but puce with falling leaves for Aunts and Uncles. In total, if you order the Family Package, which I did, you have up to 7 different backgrounds you must apply, even if it's boring old blue.
Step Three: Add-Ons. These are things like adding the name and year to your photo and, my personal favorite, retouching. Now, being a hard-core believer that I won't forget the names of my children, I opt out of this. Then as I click the "No Thanks" button for retouching, the photo of the beautiful 15-year-old in the example photo reloads and now shows this same, beautiful 15-year-old with about 30 enhanced blemishes lining her chin and cheek! Seriously? If this 15YO didn't have a complex, she would after being put through that nationwide!
Finally, proceed to checkout, enter credit card info, print off the receipt and click, you're half way there! Please proceed back to Step One to begin the process for Child #2!
Look, I don't wish bad photos for my kids. I want them to look nice and we took time to carefully preselect clothes that were grease-stain and action figure free (really just a shirt cause no one sees what pants they wear unless you choose the full-body shot option). I brushed everyone's hair before they left but they have hours before their moment in front of the camera and call me a pessimist, but I'm pretty sure it won't last.
But, school pics are different today and I get that. I know the yearbook companies are photographing children who have had a personal paparazzi since emerging from the birth canal (insert snarky birthing picture comment here). I'm guilty too. If I set my iPhoto book to slideshow, it 's like watching a 1950's cartoon of an infant morphing into a kid (x's 3). What I don't have many of are really terrible photos. It's too easy to hit delete when it's not the perfect shot. That's what I'm counting on with these yearbook photos. Someday, I want the opportunity to embarrass my children as payback for all those times they played with the damn locks on the stall doors and everyone in the Target ladies room got to see me on the toilet.
I also want my kids to look back and realize that pimples, and mullets, happen to everyone!
PS-Someone help me out and post my mullet pics! My scanner doesn't work...seriously, it doesn't.:-)
Monday, July 23, 2012
It's given me a little time to reflect further on one of the reason's I haven't been blogging much these last few months. It's not because the hilarity hasn't continued. Because, let's be honest, these children will be giving me some awesome material for years! However, as they get older, and, (very slowly) creep toward socially acceptable behavior, I realize that the situations I personally find hysterical could be rather embarrassing to elementary students. Unfortunately, you may have to settle for more Meatball cuteness, in-law mayhem and clumsy-Rachel stories and less about Sharkbait's negotiations with charitable organizations (um, did he just ask for that quarter back?!) and DQ's latest venture into make-up application (um, why does the lipstick go from your nose to your cheeks?).
Don't worry, I've been putting this stuff in my journal because you better believe a day will come when I can tell the world about how...well, you'll just have to wait. Who knows, maybe someday, when they are grown, I'll publish a book of short stories titled, "Water Through The Nose: One mother's daily struggle not to laugh."
|So, what sort of treatment is this, Doc? Happy |
Birthday to two of the craziest guys I know!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Several years ago, after the post-dinner bedtime struggle had been fought and our children were in bed, I mentioned to my husband that, at dinner time, he often reminded me of Sam Kinison. He started laughing (because we are capable of laughter after the children are in bed) and pointed out that he wasn't the only one.
Anyway, the reason I owe my neighbors an apology is that last week, I decided to let my children know why I sniggered so often at dinner as the whining increased and the tension mounted. They caught me with that look in my eye as I was imagining myself as Kinison's Professor Turguson in "Back To School." So, I told them I was laughing because I reminded myself of Sam Kinison. Which, naturally led to the question, "Who is Sam Kinison?" Well, I gave a PG explanation but it required quite a lot of screaming, which my children thought was freaking hysterical. And, as in all things they find even remotely funny, it was repeated...and repeated....and repeated. And now, after re-reading this entry, I'm pretty certain that this must be done, "I'm sorry, parents."
Monday, February 13, 2012
|Me and the Beher fam at a Florida bird|
and wildlife preserve.
|Me and Fam on a Rizzuto beach vacation...|
complete with loud Italian father-in-law.
They memories come from the chaos. So, my hope for our future vacations is that we can provide enough mayhem to be memorable but with minimal out-of-network hospital visits.
(PS-To my knowledge no Rizzuto ever actually wet themselves or was malnourished on a car trip.)