I've decided that DQ can go to Theater Camp this summer.  At first, I thought to myself, why throw gasoline on a fire?  However, I've offered up soccer, golf, tennis and dance hoping to elicit a reaction fitting an excited five-year-old with no success.

Her onstage debut May, 2010

I had never mentioned theater camp to her, because, let's face it, she doesn't need an actual stage to perform.  Yesterday, she had my 65-year-old mother and her two-year-old sister positioned as backup singers on our front porch.  Today, while a friend and I snacked on overly processed grilled cheese, she presented her 2011 swimsuit line for us.

Our family has spent countless hours positioned just so on the couch watching her parade around in different costumes while singing, dancing and waiting with fake modesty for the rousing applause due to her at the end of each performance.  I usually spend this time oscillating between amusement at this little girl lost in fantasy and horror at the prospect of someday having to do the pageant-mom thing.

Over the last few months, she has become very interested in helping with household chores.  Specifically, dousing the windows with Windex and smearing it around until they are so cloudy you wonder if it's foggy or if the neighbors house is on fire.  Of course, the best part about her 'help' is that she has to 'get dressed' before beginning.  She has a sundress with matching kerchief that is 'perfect' for doing chores.  It's the kerchief that makes it so perfect...she wears it while walking slowly around the house, singing and cleaning like the most down-trodden of all the princesses!

This really had to be the final straw.  If I'm going to spend the money on a week long daycamp, it might as well be something she enjoys because, after all, it's not about me (oh yeah, and I spent four summers in a theater group).  I reluctantly mentioned that a nearby candy store (yes, downstairs candy store, upstairs theater) offers a weeklong "theater camp."  Her interest piqued, she asked, "what's theater?"  I explained it's a camp where she and other kids her age get to sing and dance on a stage.  The response was ridiculous...and loud.  Who knows, maybe she'll learn to channel her drama, to save it for her fans in the audience instead of those on the couch.  (Can I pay extra for that?)  Wish me luck.

PS - I did manage to get her to agree to soccer.  When she's concentrating, she's great and she is actually incapable of running without a smile.  Oh, she's also pretty good at working in the occasional post-score twirl.  And, the only pink she wears in the game is on her shoes...awesome!